HoUsE FuLL

I am glad it took him so long but my uncle is finally throwing me out of his house within the next two days… he calls it pest control :P

Well my search started in the morning, calling friends, relatives, clients, colleagues.. My first mistake.. They passed on the message but a one with a warning... Some stupid moron even forwarded one to me … Well in my quest for a beautiful home with a garden and a view I saw some real fancy places ... I wish I could put the pictures up but anyways.. I’ll try my best to explain it with words..

House #1:
I open the door to find a wall just 7 feet away with a tiny exhaust fan on top, I step back wondering if I got into a store room by mistake.. Its a 8'x10' room with an exhaust fan and a loo,, and this one was smaller than the one I had trouble getting into in the plane..

Store owner: "we are four people here, we are looking for one more "flexible" Indian to fit in to share the cost"
me: "but there's no tub in the loo ... where would I sleep"
store owner: " hehehe ... no my friend. We will sleep on our sides.. This way you'll fit in with us"
me: "Ummmm ... so you are from Bombay!!!.... Ahhhh"

House #2:
The door is open, I walk in to find 3 doors ... one of the door has three guys in towels standing in a line in front of what looks like a loo.. They had this original constipated look on their faces. I walk past them and stand in the line mocking the shit out of them.. Hehehe... they look back in disgust… they must be wondering whether to let go of their towels and beat the shit out of me... either way i am going to laugh :)

The house owner comes in from the second door.. He was sweating and stinking.. "Clearing out the weekly garbage??" I quip ... " naaaah,, that’s the kitchen.. Let me show u the room" the third door opens to a fairly spacious laundry with a nice balcony, Stacks of bed sheet, pillow, undies, shirts, pants, and also a carton of detergent.

Me: " nice place Sir, why do we have so much of laundry lying around,, is it a part time thing"
owner: " no no no no no ... these belong to the people living here.. Here come here.. I will show u your space"
me: " how many people in this room???"
Owner: “we have 13 people here, and we only have two more vacancies.. We will charge extra for the corner and a discount if u take the one near the door"
me: " why are those three guys standing outside..???"
Owner: “ignore them, they're bathroom freaks.. We have bathroom dates for everyone.. But these guys want to use it everyday.. Little toh you have to adjust no??”
Me: Ummmm :)

House #3
I walk in, a rat runs out.. i freak out .. i start sprinting .. dunno where .. The owner comes out calling..

Owner: “my friend.. my friend.. Where are u running??” ...
me: ...…..
Owner: ”at least take ur suitcase along.... my friend!!!!” (Echo)
me: ...…..

Well ... I made up the last one.. But I’m actually moving out of my uncle's place into an apartment with 8 people from different age groups. Given the kind of rooms I’ve seen so far, this one looks much better. I’m just hoping it has the right mix of people ….

i know what you guys are thinking ...

it’s either my life or their brains… one of these will get fucked real bad … but given my reputation and past experience I’m sure the odds are in my favor :)