BaccHaaLog ParTy
I have lost hope on bachelor parties, I’m sure I’d have more fun if I went to party with my 8 year old cousin even if that included getting locked in the cockroach infested bathroom while they turn off the lights (heartless creatures) or getting pastries smashed on my face or their routine painting competitions on my expensive end of season sale shirts…
Fate clearly had plans, well it started off well as 4 bohri’s were given a basic brief of what & why a bachelors party, two of them had their jaws drop to the length of their 6 inch beard while the third had his tongue out failing to notice or contain the oozing fluid..
There was so much excitement, finally all those forbidden pleasures, tonight all those dreams will take shape, beautiful women in our arms, great music, those fancy third rounds with roll calls, man the works ..
Our truck clearly had variety, one married guy who kept looking at his wife’s picture, probably asking himself “what was I thinking?? Why me?? God.. Are u there??”,
The second and third guys were single … single in dubai at 24.. nudging 25…They’re rare species, while other guys their age probably have a couple of kids these guys still had to 'do' with their phone videos, this night wasn’t just a normal night for them, all that praying and fasting for months had finally paid off. Like finally all their fantasies were going to come alive, all the women, all that wine like I could see them in the rear view pinching each other on the backseat (pun unintended) just to check if this was a dream…
But like all good things come to an end, so did this, reality dawned on us along with those bouncers, we were humiliated; they asked us which school were we in? Does mama knows where you are? Won’t you miss your milk and cookies inside? Do you want to play ball ball?? we were ridiculed, and there were people on the sides who were laughing.. I wanted to beat the shit out of that guy right there but I am not really a hot headed guy when standing in front of a fat 7 foot, 180 kg African beast, lets just say i saw reason in his words. But not my friend, he was brave, he tried to sneak in and almost felt the warmth and wetness in his pants when 3 bouncers took him to the side trying to explain the consequences and like good friends we realized that this was a private moment, triggering the rest of us to leave the place immediately with a discreet signal that we’ll wait for him near the car.. Hoping that he won’t pick it up …
The highlight of the night was the restaurant, the full table complete with two kharaas, two mithaas and a salwaat, but nobody was speaking, there was this eerie silence broken by waiters who kept coming over every two mins, I guess they had bets placed in the kitchen “50 bucks says these are zombies”, we convinced ourselves on how narrowly we managed to keep our principles alive and how we refused to succumb to the world of sin, how we would’ve burned in hell to pay for this night, how getting caught would’ve ruined marriage chances for the rest of us, “yeah” I said when I really should’ve kept my mouth shut … “like how much difference would’ve it made to our lives if we’d party with those beautiful women, click pictures with them, upload them on face book and prove to the world that we’re cool as well” .
Silence again …………
Journey back home was weird; the car looked more like a funeral coach with corpses avoiding eye contact..
Finally one of them spoke up with a tone to match his 'dead guy just been screwed look' “people will laugh at us in Jamaats, we’ll never eat in peace, our grandkids will ask us about this”, “but how will they know” asked the other…
And I found them all staring at me…
A ghost finally spoke up “You are not blogging about this. Are you??…. I’ll never get married … Please … keep those 250 dhs you owe me”.. I give the other guy a thoughtful look… “Alrite u can use my Mac book just don’t use our names” he replied. “Did I hear please??” I asked.
“Please” almost breaking down
The bluff master smiles …… May your souls rest in peace
Fate clearly had plans, well it started off well as 4 bohri’s were given a basic brief of what & why a bachelors party, two of them had their jaws drop to the length of their 6 inch beard while the third had his tongue out failing to notice or contain the oozing fluid..
There was so much excitement, finally all those forbidden pleasures, tonight all those dreams will take shape, beautiful women in our arms, great music, those fancy third rounds with roll calls, man the works ..
Our truck clearly had variety, one married guy who kept looking at his wife’s picture, probably asking himself “what was I thinking?? Why me?? God.. Are u there??”,
The second and third guys were single … single in dubai at 24.. nudging 25…They’re rare species, while other guys their age probably have a couple of kids these guys still had to 'do' with their phone videos, this night wasn’t just a normal night for them, all that praying and fasting for months had finally paid off. Like finally all their fantasies were going to come alive, all the women, all that wine like I could see them in the rear view pinching each other on the backseat (pun unintended) just to check if this was a dream…
But like all good things come to an end, so did this, reality dawned on us along with those bouncers, we were humiliated; they asked us which school were we in? Does mama knows where you are? Won’t you miss your milk and cookies inside? Do you want to play ball ball?? we were ridiculed, and there were people on the sides who were laughing.. I wanted to beat the shit out of that guy right there but I am not really a hot headed guy when standing in front of a fat 7 foot, 180 kg African beast, lets just say i saw reason in his words. But not my friend, he was brave, he tried to sneak in and almost felt the warmth and wetness in his pants when 3 bouncers took him to the side trying to explain the consequences and like good friends we realized that this was a private moment, triggering the rest of us to leave the place immediately with a discreet signal that we’ll wait for him near the car.. Hoping that he won’t pick it up …
The highlight of the night was the restaurant, the full table complete with two kharaas, two mithaas and a salwaat, but nobody was speaking, there was this eerie silence broken by waiters who kept coming over every two mins, I guess they had bets placed in the kitchen “50 bucks says these are zombies”, we convinced ourselves on how narrowly we managed to keep our principles alive and how we refused to succumb to the world of sin, how we would’ve burned in hell to pay for this night, how getting caught would’ve ruined marriage chances for the rest of us, “yeah” I said when I really should’ve kept my mouth shut … “like how much difference would’ve it made to our lives if we’d party with those beautiful women, click pictures with them, upload them on face book and prove to the world that we’re cool as well” .
Silence again …………
Journey back home was weird; the car looked more like a funeral coach with corpses avoiding eye contact..
Finally one of them spoke up with a tone to match his 'dead guy just been screwed look' “people will laugh at us in Jamaats, we’ll never eat in peace, our grandkids will ask us about this”, “but how will they know” asked the other…
And I found them all staring at me…
A ghost finally spoke up “You are not blogging about this. Are you??…. I’ll never get married … Please … keep those 250 dhs you owe me”.. I give the other guy a thoughtful look… “Alrite u can use my Mac book just don’t use our names” he replied. “Did I hear please??” I asked.
“Please” almost breaking down
The bluff master smiles …… May your souls rest in peace
posted by RuLeS: To LiVe YoUr LiFe at
11:06 AM
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