KoOwaAyTi BuS

I ride on a bus every day, it has always been an enriching experience, and for somebody like me with zero acumen for business riding in a bus probably taught me more about corporate life and business than those years of sending CV’s and letters faking motivation to multinationals.

After 4 attempts to organize my thoughts at "where,who and when" TO DO's I figured considering our audience, "what" would be more appropriate.

But then enough has been written on that.... so....

Do Not’s

1) Do not sit next to ninja’s, They are actually women, any attempt to know the time, place or a random comment on weather will be taken as an hostile attempt to violate, outrage and molest their character and modesty. You could be stoned to death, with stones i mean.

2) Do not carry currency of high value. Because by the time you get down you might have had an entire Kuwait tour, know the driver, know of his brave ancestors and how they were the first in his village to install an in house toilet while the others looked for doorsteps, also a logical theory to justify 8 kids, while wifey expects again. Although he did assure me that he considers retiring after the 11th and assist his elder son in his endeavors to carry on the family name.

3) Do not forget to carry a mini fire extinguisher or always try and look around for one that hasn’t been used considering the freak fires that take place on board. Try not sitting next to somebody who’s had a heavy meal of daal gosht and is pretty audible when it comes to letting you know as he and his fellow riders use their talents to bring out a background score to your life using inflammable gases trapped within going Brurrrrrr bhuttt bhuttt bhutttaaeer phut phut phooooooooooooooo.

4) Do not forget to carry a revival kit, when you walk into a bus you only take in the visual diversity, the experience comes when the air conditioner doesn’t work and you realize that the other riders are conservation activists’ hell bent on saving water. Over time and loads of journeys you might even tell an Indian smell from an Egyptian or distinguish the malayali coconutty smell from the general Indian. I am sure you’re wondering why the revival kit, well a lot of new guys who walk into the bus for the first time look forward to experiencing the diversity end up fainting cos they take in a little too much of it, since nobody on the bus has an onion, they use the next best thing … their socks .. carrying a revival kit to show the victim after he regains his conscious just assures him that it wasn’t a malayali sock that went up his nose and throat… and even though the taste seemed familiar. Ummmmm.

Please come prepared, if you do see someone on the bus in a frogman’s suit, Smile and wave, That’s me.




Note: Contrary to Charges, We at Team Break D Rules have tried not to kill fellow riders during the course of our research, although we did have some casualties on our side, rest have checked into rehab.