You'll love my cousins

My Little cousins,,, just cant beat them,, Disasters normally come uninvited but my cousins came invited, so I deserve to get screwed….

The moment they got into my house ,, the initial ten minutes were great, they were sitting in a nice corner not talking to anyone,, refusing every chocolate we offered. “such nice kids” I wondered,, and continued with my work,, moments later I hear a crash,, rush to my bedroom and find the wall clock smashed to pieces ,, while the kids gave out their sweetest smiles feigning ignorance,, old memories of horrible experiences with little kids started haunting my mind,, my gut was killing me,, I knew I was in for some trouble

I tried my best to keep myself off limits but I really couldn’t, they wanted to go to a local fair,, mom looked at me “yeah ,, as long as you stay away from my computer, everything is a good idea”.

Fair was great,, apart from the fact that
one of them wanted to pee every ten minutes and then pester me to keep buying more water,
play hide and seek while I wet my pants wondering what uncle would do to me if I don’t find them
dashing cars was fun,, until now,, I was a bloody punching bag ,, and I had to park my car right in the middle for their convenience,, any change in position will result in some high decibel music


but the saints took over me and I took them to McDonalds

Some expectations if you want to have food with my cousins
Expect water on the table and tissues in your glass
Expect ketchup on your shirt and the fries on the floor
Expect them to fall off their chairs and start howling
Expect yourself to be the centre of all unkindly attraction

Then if you‘re really really blessed, you get to hear loud comments
“if you cant handle kids why have them”


Some tips to overcome mental trauma in case I get my cousins to your place
They are R&D people ,, hide your electronics or find new shapes and uses
And if you don’t keep the keypad locked then expect some international calls in your bill
Expect to find your “my documents” folder in recycle bin
Get used to watching cartoons all day
Get all your old crockery out and put on your old clothes



When you visit them, they’re such nice kids, you just cant help falling in love with them, you discover the real meaning of love,, and just when you doing that they’ll pee on you..
They’re disasters,, the discussion we should have is not whether they’re disasters or not ,, but whether they’re natural disasters or man made disasters


And all you guys keep calling me a bad case practice,, wait till you meet my cousins

All said and done ,,, I love them,, cos they love irritating me and I love getting mad at them.